Mr. Black, I am an avid fan of your work, yes, I even watched NBC’s Ed. My wife got me My Custom Van for my birthday a year ago and I thoroughly enjoyed every sidesplitting essay. The collection of compositions even made me look at the world in a slightly different light. Upon reading your book, I joined a jug band and started stocking up on day glow magic markers and gorging myself on candy corn. I even had a taco party that incorporated a swimming pool filled with guacamole. When these acts of flattery to your comic genius didn’t get me any closer to being a dropout from NYU with an uncharacteristically intelligent comedy show on MTV with negative 2 ½ stars from the NY Post, I lost my hopes of ever being completely silly. However, last night my hope s of silliness returned when I found something on the shelf at my local convenient store. I found something that you were looking for and if I could convey the message to you that I had found it, you might be able to extend some of your zany wackiness to me. What could it be that returned the joy of foolishness to my heart? Could it truly brighten your day if you did not know of its return? Well, my friend, I am glad to tell you that Doritos has finally gotten its s**t together and released a limited edition of Taco Doritos.
I know, I probably built your anticipation a little too high for the news of the limited release of the chip that made you hate Mexicans less. You probably already knew anyway because you probably have super bowl breakfasts with PepsiCo on a regular basis talking about outrageous foods and flavors. I thought I would just let you know in case you only found out after the “limited edition” run was over. I hope you are happy with the re-launch of the not-so outrageous flavor.
Just in case you didn’t believe me I have added photographic proof of the legendary chip bag:
Bask in its glory (AAAH!)
See, I told you they were limited edition
